I never thought my husband and I would get to raise a baby from day 1 but just 3 weeks ago we got a call to do just that.
The hard part of foster care is knowing that the babies came from a home that was so bad that CPS had to remove them from the home. A social worker once told me "CPS doesn't take your kid away from you because you're a bad parent they take them away because there is a huge safety concern." Once the child enters foster care and goes into our home a lot of the times the damage is already done and it's where we have to step in a provide for their needs and show them love. My hope accepting children 3 and under is that the damage will be forgotten and they will just remember us, but you just never know and each situation varies so greatly.
But when we got a call for a brand new baby girl we immediately said YES! I never even imagined leaving the hospital doors with a brand new baby, I gave up on those dreams years ago. Picking her up from the hospital nursery at just 3 days old and weighing on 5.4 ounces was so surreal. We were both smiling from ear to ear. Our hearts were the fullest they've ever been.
Everyday we get to experience her "firsts". We get to sing to her and bond with her as the only mom and dad she's ever known. Yes the waking up every 2 hours a night is exhausting to say the least but I can't go a day without smiling everytime I look at this precious miracle from God.
The "if" factor in all this is hard and sad but I can't really dwell on that too much. I'm just going to love her as my own and hope we get to be her forever family sooner rather then later.
Once again I end with my God is in control, it's what keeps me going.