Twins?! Are they identical? Were you surprised when you found out? How many weeks were you when you found out they were boys? Was it a natural birth? Were they premature? What was their birth weight? Is one more fussy then the other? Is it hard to have twins? Are they a lot of work? Do they sleep through the night? Do you keep them on the same schedule? How do you do it?
Little did I know when I got the call to be the foster mom of two identical twin boys that the questions would be a little overwhelming. Now if I actually had the twins myself, these would be a lot less awkward to answer. Every time I walk out of the house with twins I am literally bombarded by questions and questions and more questions. I don’t blame anyone, I mean they are extremely adorable and people are just trying to make conversation so they can see and admire the cute twins but little do they know, for me, answering these questions is exhausting.
I remember walking out of Trader Joes with my husband and for whatever reason one of the workers helped us take our groceries to the car because she insisted even though we usually say no. While she’s loading the bags in the trunk she asks me questions about the twins and one was “were you surprised when you found out it was twins?” Wesley happened to be on the other side of the van where the lady couldn’t see him and I glanced at him and he had the biggest smile on his face and was staring at me like “ya, Melissa were you surprised?”. Haha. He was just waiting to see how I was gonna answer this very awkward question.
Now when these questions happen I have one of two choices: I can either tell my whole entire life story about how they’re not mine and how they’re in foster care which always leads into this super long conversation because then the questions really start rolling in or I have option number 2 where I can just say “yes” and move on with my life. And of course me being the introvert that I am, I usually choose option number two. So I looked at the lady and said “yes, I was very surprised”. I immediately turned back to Wesley with a gigantic smile on my face because I knew he was watching me and he just bursts into laughter. Haha. (I technically didn’t lie because I was surprised when my agency called me about twins! Haha)
Sometimes I don’t want to be a foster mom, sometimes I just want to be a ‘normal’ mom with ‘normal’ answers. And that’s OK. I LOVE my story, I love that God has walked me through this incredible journey and I feel so blessed to live the life I do but sometimes I just want to be a normal, regular mom who doesn’t feel like she has to try and dodge every question that comes her way. Is that so hard to ask?
With Madison there were a few awkward questions but not nearly as many as with the twins. They have opened a whole new world of curiosity. And I don’t mean to be rude or even ashamed of my story but sometimes I’m just too tired to have to explain everything so I go with the easy route.
And honestly it’s kind of like an inside joke now with Wesley and I. Every time someone asks we both look at each other and smile haha. This could go either way.
After saying all that if I feel like God is leading me to tell my story while I’m talking to someone I am very open to doing so and it has lead to some amazing connections!
This is the life of a foster mom.